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The next day Collin saw me talking to a fairly young professor outside on a park bench about what I needed to do to bring my grade up. I knew that Collin was there, watching us, but I tried to ignore him and focus in on what the professor was saying. I had missed yet another test the previous week and needed to make it up to keep the bottom of my GPA from dropping all the way out. The only reason that we were even sitting out there in the first place was because I saw the professor walking across campus and, having not been able to catch him in his office, decided to chase him down and see if he would discuss the missed test with me right there. However, as soon as we sat down, I saw Collin watching us from a distance and immediately knew what he was thinking.
The professor was young, handsome and, well, from all the way over on the other side of the yard, why wouldn’t Collin think his girl was just out there in the open kickin’ it with some other dude in the middle of campus? Before he walked away, the professor squeezed my arm, gave me a warm smile and told me not to stress so much.
Easy for you to say, I thought quietly to myself and stole a glance over to where I knew Collin was still sitting. Then I gave the professor a grateful smile and watched him walk away. When I looked back at Collin, I saw him shake his head and say something to one of his boys, then nod his head my way. The guy looked over at me, then shook his head and walked off. I stared after his friend, and suddenly wondered when I had lost the guts to stand up to Collin. I decided it was probably somewhere around the time that he started dealing weapons out of his apartment.
Collin glanced around quickly to see if anyone was looking, then ran up on me and jerked me roughly to him by the arm.
“Ouch Collin,” I said coolly, trying to pull away and play it off for anyone who may have been watching at the same time.
“Oh, you think that hurts?” he laughed and moved his hand down to my wrist, bending it backwards and squeezing as hard as he could.
Out of nowhere, I started to cry. Just as the tears started to fall, we both heard a loud pop and looked at each other in surprise. Then Collin let go and pierced my eyes with his own.
“Remember that,” was the only thing he said before storming off.
Again, I wondered why I wasn’t smart enough to leave that fool and ducked into the cafeteria to avoid Drama, who I saw walking across campus in the distance. He didn’t see me, though, and I thought I had gotten away scot-free until I bumped right smack into Kenney.
“Wassup gul?” he asked casually and looked at me for way too long. “You alright?”
I just nodded and ducked back through the door before he could say anything else. Of course he followed me out.
“Ay, I heard you saw my aunt last night.”
This made my feet screech to a halt and the rest of my body jerked to a stop after them. When I slowly turned around, I looked at Kenney and braced myself, getting ready for him to go off on me, too.
But he didn’t. “She…she told me I should look after you.”
“Oh yeah?” I turned and started walking.
“Yeah.” He smiled at me and tugged on my hand. I inwardly screamed in pain, but didn’t let him see it. “Yeah,” he repeated again. “Drama told me the same thing…and that I was a sucker for not speaking up sooner about…how I feel about you.” Then trying to play it off, he added quickly, “You know, I mean back in the day…when I was too busy hatin’ on your boy.” He looked around awkwardly, and then suddenly shook his head, as if clearing it. “But that was a long time ago. Aunt Jasmine’s …suggestion…was more recent.”
He looked over at me and laughed awkwardly, but stopped when I didn’t smile back at him.
“So…” he looked around, like he was trying to make up something to talk about. “So, wanna see the picture I had blown up? I’m ‘bout to pick it up right now.” I nodded silently and followed him out to the car. I didn’t even care if Collin saw me go. At that point, as far as I was concerned, Collin Brice Stewart could go straight to hell.
On the way, Kenney looked over and asked me again if I was alright.
“Yeah, why?”
“You’re just quiet today.” He looked at me questioningly, until I shrugged and got out of the car. He followed me into Kinko’s.
When the Kinko’s guy unrolled the poster and held it up for us to see, I gasped. It was beautiful. It was one of the photographs that Kenney had taken of the two little girls on the waterfront. They looked so cute, standing there, grinning into the camera, like they didn’t have a care in the world. Unexpectedly, I burst into tears.
Kenney looked at me, startled, and the Kinko’s guy looked away uncomfortably as he moved on to the next customer.
“What…” Kenney stepped closer to me and put his hand over mine. The light pressure against my wrist sent a piercing pain up my arm and the tears came down even harder. “Tashi…” he didn’t know what to say.
I felt so stupid with everyone in the store watching us, that I immediately forced myself to shut my mind down and sucked it up. Then I smiled brightly at Kenney and told him how much I loved the picture.
“This is the one that I did for you…” he began, for lack of anything better to say. Then he rolled it back up and placed it in my hurt hand while he went to the register to pay.
I quickly let go of it as soon as he walked away, the weight of the cardboard tube making my wrist feel more shattered by the second. When Kenney came back over to me, he looked from me to the poster expectantly. When I didn’t explain why I had just dropped it on the ground and left it there, he raised an eyebrow.
“I…uh, Kenney?” I looked deep into his eyes, trying to decide if I could tell him the truth about what had just happened.
“Yeah?” He took a step closer to me. I wanted to tell him that I thought my wrist was broken.
“Um,” I looked down at the cardboard tube, then back at him. “The, uh, poster’s too heavy. Could you…” I gave him my best ‘just a girl’ smile and batted my lashes, “…carry it for me?”
He grinned and shook his head. “Women.” When we got back to the car, he handed me the poster again. Without thinking, I reached out with my left hand, the now swollen one, and my wrist buckled under the weight. Kenney watched my struggle thoughtfully, then took the poster from me and tossed it into the backseat. After driving in silence for a while, in the opposite direction of campus I noticed, he pulled into a parking lot and turned off the ignition.
“So, do you want to tell me something?”
My heart jumped and I looked over at him guiltily. “What?”
“What’s wrong with your hand?” he asked quickly, before I had a chance to get the word all the way out.
“Nothing…” I began, but he cut me off again.
“Why were you crying back there?”
Suddenly, I found my long lost front and made a disbelieving face at him. “What? Bud…” Denial of the obvious truth with a dead straight face. “I don’t even cry in public…” I turned and looked out of the window wondering if there was any place that I could go without all of this stress. I couldn’t just go home to Maryland because, once again, Collin apparently lived right across the street.
Kenney pulled my face back towards him and asked again. “What’s wrong with your hand?”
“Nothing…”
He poked at it to prove that I was lying. When I snatched it away and gasped in pain, he gave me a look that let me know I better tell him what was up, and quick. But I didn’t. I just looked out of the window and kept my mouth shut.
“Tashi…” he brushed his fingers gently against the side of my neck. “I can’t help you unless you tell me what you need me to do.”
I looked over at him and wanted to tell him more than anything that I needed him to take me to the hospital, but I knew exactly what he would think if I did.
“I need…” I cleared my throat and looked away. “I need, I need you to…take me home.” I looked at him solemnly. “Please.” It was so hard to look at Kenney right then, but I had no choice. His gaze was unwavering and I couldn’t look away.
“No.”
“What?” I snapped in disbelief. “Yes!”
“No,” he said again, more firmly this time and kept my gaze.
“Fine.” I reached for the door handle with my right hand, but Kenney reflexively grabbed my left hand and gently tried to pull me back to him. As hard as I tried to hold it in, I cried out in pain. “Oh Jesus! God, please! Kenney. Please stop…”
Silently, I wondered, Why am I crying out to God? What’s He gonna do about it?
Shocked, Kenney snatched his hand away and recoiled back into his seat. Then he gave me this look, like he had just seen a ghost or something, and swallowed hard. I buried my face in my good hand and pleaded with him one more time. “Kenney please,” I mumbled through my tear drenched fingers. “Please just take me home. I just…I just need to go to bed.”
He swallowed again, like he was trying to swallow down a bubble of rage and said thickly, “Ok.” Then he started the car. “Close the door.” I did and he put the car into gear. “Did Collin do that to you?” I didn’t answer. “Did Collin do that to you?” he asked again in the same even tone.
“I fell…” I fought the urge to look over at him.
“Fell.” The word thumped out of his mouth like a ten-ton brick.
“Yes. I…I fell.” Then I wiped away my tears and looked around. “Kenney?”
“Yes?”
“We…this isn’t the way to my place.”
“I know.”
“So…where are you taking me?” I finally looked over at him. His face was stone, and his jaw was clenching and unclenching so tightly that I thought he would shatter his own teeth if he didn’t stop. “K…Kenney…”
“What?” He clenched his teeth together again.
“Are you taking me to the hospital?”
“Yes.” He looked over at me.
“Oh…” I looked down, then back up at him and whispered “Thank you.”
He only nodded shortly and continued to glare out of the window. Again, he clenched his jaw and I heard his teeth grind together. Then he rolled down his window and actually spit out blood.
“Kenney,” I whispered. “Stop the car for a minute, ok?”
He did, the first chance he got and held tightly onto the steering wheel until I spoke. Cautiously, I inched my sore hand toward him and repeated his name. Wordlessly, he looked over at me.
“I need you to calm down, alright?” He continued to look at me in silence. “Kenney, I tripped over one of those tree roots on the way back from talking to my professor.” I was trying my hardest to lighten the mood. “You know how much I hate those damn things…”
He had seen me trip over Hampton’s yard full of tree roots on more than one occasion, but this time he wasn’t buying it. He clenched his jaw again and physically bit down on his tongue to keep from saying what he wanted to say.
“Stop it, Bud. You’re scaring me.” At the sound of my attempted playful tone, Kenney’s face softened a little and the fire in his eyes slowly began to subside. I maintained the calm, even voice that I usually only reserved for Collin when he was in one of his rage fests and continued. “You can ask him, Professor Donnelly. I was outside talking to him about a test that I missed and as I was walking away from him…trying to be cute…” I shrugged and let out a soft chuckle. “I tripped and fell.” It was disturbing how easy it was for me to lie for Collin, but somehow it came so naturally that I couldn’t stop myself. “Everyone saw it.” I cast an embarrassed eye toward Kenney.
He almost smiled at me. “Ok.”
“Ok?” I repeated.
“Yes.” He nodded. “I said ok.”
“Good,” I sat back and sighed in relief. “Now, take me to the hospital, Bud. Enough with all this stopping. I’m dying over here!”
This time he really did smile, then gently rubbed my wrist and placed it softly to his lips. “Poor baby,” he mumbled, and kissed it one more time to make it better. Once again, I contemplated what a fool I was for ending up with Collin instead of Kenney. But you know what they say. Everybody plays it sometimes…
By the time we got to the hospital, Kenney’s mood had lightened significantly and he gladly took the paperwork from the nurse when I told them that I was left handed and couldn’t fill it out.
“I didn’t know you were a lefty!” Kenney teased as he filled in my name and address. “How weird that I never noticed. I’ve never met a lefty before.”
I looked away from him and smiled. “Shut up, Bud.”
“So…” Kenney began going through the list of fifty-leven questions that they made you answer before a doctor would even see you, starting with family medical history. As the questions became more personal, Kenney’s face grew redder and redder. “Um… when was,” his voice faltered, then he cleared his throat and started again. “When was the last time you had sex?”
I couldn’t help but look over at him with an embarrassed grin. “What?”
“You heard me.” He grinned back and held up page nine hundred and fifty-seven of the form. “That’s what it says.”
“Um…never.” I looked away, even more embarrassed.
His grin widened and, even though he was turning redder by the minute, he didn’t skip over the perfect opportunity to tease me again. “Ah! A virgin and a lefty?” Then he patted my cheek softly. “What a find…”
“Please tell me this interrogation is almost over,” I mumbled, too embarrassed to look him in the eye.
Kenney, sensing that I needed a break from the spotlight, put the form down. “So…how did you get into Jasmine’s last night?”
“What?” Where did that come from?
“I mean, you know you’re not old enough to get in…” he smiled devilishly. He hadn’t let me live down the fact that I was several months younger than everyone else since that bouncer called me out at Shipwreck.
I shrugged. “The guy wasn’t checking IDs.” Then I tapped my finger on the questionnaire. “Let’s get this over with, Bud. What’s next?”
Kenney smiled at me for a minute longer. Then he looked back down at the clipboard and his face turned beat red.
“What?” I asked and tried to lean over and read the question for myself.
“When was…when was the…” He was concentrating so hard on the paper, I was beginning to wonder if he really did know how to read. “When was your last period?”
We both looked at each other quickly, then away and finished the rest of the medical history with lightning speed. Afterwards, we waited another hour or so for one of the ER doctors to see me. It turned out that my wrist wasn’t broken, but fractured. The doctor slapped a removable cast around my hand and sent us on our way.
Collin called me later on that night and told me to be ready when he came over to pick me up. For some reason, he never came into our apartment. He would always just tell me to be waiting outside by the time he got there. He probably knew that there was always a possibility that he might run into Drama if he came in.
Of course I was ready by the time he pulled up, and I climbed wearily into the car when it came to a stop. I already knew what was coming when his eyes widened in anger at the sight of my cast.
“Who took you to the hospital?” he demanded, before I could even close the door all the way.
“What?”
“Who?” Collin shrieked and dug his fingers into my arm, pulling me inches from his face. “Who?” he repeated again, shaking me. When I still didn’t answer, he let go of me and looked back toward the apartment. “Who’s in there?”
“What are you talking about?”
He gave me a warning look. “Inside! Who’s inside your apartment?” he yelled.
“No one.” I shook my head and backed away from him.
“Good.” He hopped out of the car and came around to my side. It briefly crossed my mind to lock him out, but I knew that it would only piss him off more if I did. He snatched open the door and yanked me out of the car. Then he pulled me by my cast up to the front door and barked, “Open it!” When I fumbled with the keys and dropped them on the ground, he snatched them up and opened it for me. Then he pushed the back of my head and shoved me inside.
“Collin…” I began and turned around to face him. Before I could say anything else, he pushed me onto the floor and raised his fist to hit me. I ducked out of the way and tried to run toward the bedroom. He grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall.
“Who took you to the hospital?” he demanded, and I knew that I had to answer him…immediately.
“Kenney,” I gasped and tried to look away. He held tightly onto my face and I repeated, “Kenney. Kenney took me. I…my wrist. He thought it was broken. But…it’s not…”
“He thought it was broken?” Collin repeated incredulously. “He thought it was broken? Unbe-freakin’-lievable!” He looked up into the ceiling like he was talking to someone who was hovering above us. “What did you say to make him think that?” He wrapped his fingers back around my arms and tightened his grip. “Didn’t I tell you what happens between us stays between us?” Slamming me into the wall, he asked again. “What did you say to him?”
“Nothing! It was swelling up. He saw it for himself! I told him…” I looked at Collin with pleading eyes, somehow hoping that he would be grateful to me for lying for him. “I told him that I fell…on my way back from talking to Professor Donnelly.”
“Professor Donnelly…” He looked at me in confusion, and then suddenly raised his eyebrows. “You mean that guy…earlier?”
“Yes.”
“That was your professor?”
“Yes.”
“Oh…” For a brief second, he actually looked apologetic for what he had done. But only for a second. “You can see why it makes me so mad,” he started to reason and loosened his grip on my arm, “when every time something happens between us you run right back to him. What kind of hold does he have on you to make you keep running back to him?” I shook my head in response. “I thought you were with me now! I thought you were my girl. I’m looking to have something real with you, but if all you’re ever going to do is run back to him…” he looked up into the ceiling, then back into my eyes. Slowly, he released me from his vice grip. “Well, go then.”
“What?”
“Go! Get the hell on! Since you want to be with him so bad, then go.” Collin looked genuinely hurt and started to walk back out the door.
Like I said, I was the fool, and I didn’t like Collin walking away from me angry. “No Collin,” I began quietly.
“No, what?” he stopped and turned to look at me.
“I…I don’t want him. I want you.”
“Why the hell do you keep going back to him, then?”
I started to cry and leaned up against the wall, covering my face with my hands. “I don’t know!” I answered tearfully. “I don’t know.”
“What?” Collin asked loudly, placing his finger to his ear and coming closer to me. “What’s that?” I could see the anger building in him once again. “You don’t know?”
“Collin, please…”
“Collin please, Collin what?” he taunted. “Dumb b*! That’s all I ever hear! Collin, I don’t know why I do this and that! Do you ever think? Do you ever know why the hell you do anything? I know you’re not stupid! So what the f* is your problem?”
I stared at him, at a loss for words. In all the years that I had known him, Collin had never spoken to me like this. My silence enraged him even more.
“Make up your own mind. Who do you want? Him or me?”
“You,” I pleaded, just above a whisper. “I want you.”
“Then act like it!”
“Ok, baby. I’m so sorry…”
“Sorry? Sorry? That’s all you ever say! You are going to drive me,” with every word, he shoved me by the shoulders up against the wall, “insane!” Then he let me go and took a step back. “You drive me crazy, Natasha. You really do. Do you like for me to treat you like this?” I shook my head no. “Then why do you make me act this way? Why do you make me so angry every…single…time we’re together!” I shook my head again in silence, afraid of the wild look in his eyes. “Sometimes,” he stopped and laughed, shaking his head, “Sometimes you make me so mad! I just want…I could just kill you!”
There was an eerie silence that passed between us, and then Collin’s whole demeanor changed. I felt my heart stop and suddenly had a hard time catching my breath. As he reached around to the small of his back, the room began to haze around me and I fought the urge to try to run. I knew that showing fear would only make him want to hurt me more. He fed off of other people’s weaknesses and fears. He always had.
“Is that what you want me to do, Natasha?” he asked me calmly.
“No.”
“What?”
“No,” I repeated a little louder.
“Well, then, do you want me to kill Kenney?” He was patronizing me, like I was some kind of child. I let him do it, though, because…well, because he was crazy and we both knew it.
“No.” Silent tears began to slip down my cheeks.
“Ok then,” and he kissed the tears gently away. “Ok. Just…stop making me act like this and I won’t have to kill one or both of you. Understand?” I nodded. “Speak up!” he snapped at me, tightening his grip on my arm.
“Yes. Yes, I understand. Collin,” I placed my hand timidly onto his chest. “Please don’t hurt Kenney. He’s not…”
“Kenney!” Collin roared.
“He didn’t do anything,” I continued, too panicked to stop talking. “I…asked him to take me. I asked him to. It’s all on me. Don’t…do anything to him, ok?”
“Kenney?!” Collin repeated at the top of his lungs. “What the hell does Kenney have to do with me and you? Is that all you care about? Is he all you can think about? Tell me what I have to do to that fool to get him out of your head?” he demanded, and poked a strong finger into my forehead. “Kill him? Is that what I have to do?” I shook my head no. “Well then, what? What the hell do I have to do to get you to stop chasing after his bitchass every time you think we have an argument?”
Without warning, he grabbed me by the back of my head and slammed my face into the front door. Then he pulled me back by the hair and slammed it again, this time smashing my eye into the doorknob. Bright splotches immediately replaced all other objects in the room and I froze as I realized that Collin may have just blinded me.
I think he realized the same thing, because when I stopped moving and crumpled to the floor, he whispered, “Don’t make me kill you both.” Then he stepped over me and walked calmly through the front door.
I can be your Bonnie,
You can be my Clyde –
Baby, let’s ride!
I’ll take you to the moon,
You can take me to the sun
Let’s get together
And put half on a son.
We’ll teach him that he’s
The Golden Child, and
Show him how it feels to be
The Chosen One.
Let’s take this world over –
Come ride on my four leaf clover…
Nothing can touch us.
God’s got our backs.
Between the two of us,
We have a weapon
For every attack.
When times get tough
We’ll keep pushing through.
Nothing can stop us
It’s just me and you.
You can be my King
And I…
I will be your Queen.
The levels I can elevate you
Are so far unseen.
Baby, let me upgrade you,
Your life and your mind.
I get what I want.
That’s why you’re
Already mine.
But don’t get it twisted,
You can upgrade me, too…
And I’m talking about the
Quality of my spirit –
Not just a new pair of shoes.
You’re like the moon,
I’m like the sea.
Every time I see you
Something rises deep
Inside of me.
You must keep my heart
Because I can’t find the key.
The only thing I ask
Is that you don’t take
Advantage of me.
I’ll give you the world!
Just be faithful to your girl.
My heart can’t be untrue.
That’s why I’m faithful
To you.
Other men can look,
But none of them will ever
Have me shook –
The way you do.
My intensions are true.
I’ll never take advantage
Of you.
I have faith in our dream,
My love runs deeper
Than it seems.
I’ll roll with the tide.
I’ll never tell a lie.
I can see how much you
Want me
Every time you look into my
Eyes.
You already know you got me,
So I’m sayin’…
Let’s ride!
STILL WATERS COMING SOON! SNEAK PREVIEW NOW AVAILABLE ON WATTPAD!
https://www.wattpad.com/story/61634673-still-waters
I didn’t hear from Collin at all that night, but the next day he called me bright and early and full of attitude.
“I’m on my way to come get you. Get dressed.”
“What?” I asked groggily. He couldn’t be serious. I looked at the clock. “It’s six o’clock in the morning, Collin. Call me back later.”
“No. Now.” Then he hung up.
I could tell by the sound of his voice that he was pissed, so I got up and got dressed. Just out of curiosity, though. Not because he could just tell me what to do.
As soon as I got in the car, Collin bombarded me with questions. “Where have you been?”
“Well,” I began smartly. “Until you woke me up, I was in the bed.”
Collin’s shoulders tensed. I decided not to make any more jokes. I looked out of the window and noticed that we were speeding down the highway on the way to Collin’s house. Briefly I wondered if he was kidnapping me. Then I looked over at Collin and chuckled to myself.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. Nothing…”
Collin squealed the tires to the right and pulled off onto an exit that we almost passed. Then he swerved into a mom and pop gas station parking lot and slammed on the brakes. No one was outside. I think it was still closed.
“I said what’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” I looked out of the window.
“Look at me.” I did what he said. “Where were you yesterday?”
“Out.”
“With who?” he already knew with who. I could tell.
I rolled my eyes at him. “Whatever Collin! You don’t own me. I can do whatever the hell I want to do.” Before I even saw him reach over, he pushed me so hard that my head slammed into the window. I immediately got a migraine.
Then he grabbed my arm and yanked me over to his side of the car. “No you can’t.” His fingers tightened around my arm. “You don’t see me out running around wit’ ol’ girl do you?” When I didn’t answer, he shook me one time, hard. The migraine made my head swim. “Do you?”
“No.”
“That’s right, you don’t. So why do I have to hear from my people that you runnin’ around campus huggin’ up on ol’ dude, gettin’ in his car and driving away? Why do I have to hear that second hand?”
I had to wonder who ‘his people’ were. Probably some chick that he used to mess with, or that was presently trying to get with him. If that was the case, then I figured maybe I should spend more time with Collin, so those other tricks would know to back up. Collin must have been reading my mind.
“Believe me. I could run up in any one of these bitches if I wanted to, but you don’t see me doing that.” Collin loosened his fingers, but the burn was still there. I could already feel the bruises forming. “Show me the same respect that I show you. How would you feel if I did that to you? You want me to treat you good?” He grabbed my arm and tightened his grip again. “You do the same for me.”
He had a point, so I nodded in agreement. “Ok.”
“Spend more time with me,” he went on, now taking my hand softly in both of his. “It’s about us now. I’m trying to build something real here, baby. I love you. I want us to get married one day, raise a family. But we can’t do that if we don’t trust each other.” He gently ran his finger down the side of my neck. “Spend more time with me, ok?”
I nodded, feeling guilty despite the shooting pain in my head…or maybe because of it. It was hard to tell.
“Ok.” I looked down. “I’m sorry.”
That weekend, Kenney was on his way up to see me as I was walking down the lobby stairs. Walking faster, I tried to figure out how to ditch him on the sly.
He smiled at me. “’Sup gul? I was just on my way to see you. You must have read my mind.” I looked around quickly. Kenney did the same. “What?”
“What?” I asked him back.
“Why you looking around all crazy like that? Somebody chasing you?” He looked past me.
I laughed. “You’re silly,” and I tried to walk past him again.
“Hold up.” He stepped in my way. “Guess what?”
“What?” I asked, hoping that he would be quick about it.
“You know how I told you my aunt still sometimes holds her Power to the People meetings?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, at the next one, she wants you to do your thing.”
I smiled at him. “Really?”
“Yeah. She was really diggin’ it.”
“I’m glad.” Then I thought about Collin and how I probably couldn’t go. Then I remembered how pissed he was going to be if I kept him waiting too long at the library. Quickly my smile faded and turned into a frown.
“What’s wrong?” Kenney’s face was reflecting my own. He did that to people a lot, and to me especially.
“Nothing, Kenney, but I’m late. I have to go.”
“Late for what?” Kenney stepped in my way again. He was starting to piss me off. “I don’t see any books.”
“None of your business.” I brushed past him.
“Hey,” he grabbed my arm.
“Ouch Kenney, you’re hurting me!” I winced as his fingers brushed against my bruises.
“What?” He looked at me in confusion. “I wasn’t even holding you tight…”
“Forget it.” I snatched my arm away.
“You ok?” He pulled my arm back to him. “What happened? Let me see.”
“No.”
“Yes.” I tried to pull away as he lifted up my sleeve, but he wouldn’t let go. Kenney gasped when he saw the black and blue fingerprints on my arm. “What the…”
“Kenney, I have to go.”
“Did Collin do this?”
“I have to go…”
“Not until you tell me what happened.”
“Kenney please,” I begged, which wasn’t like me at all, and he knew it. “Please let me go. I’m really, really late now.”
He took his hand away and whispered, “What happens if you’re late?”
I just shrugged and eased past him. I didn’t give Kenney a second look as I disappeared through the door. Some of the other girls had stopped to watch our exchange by then, so he just let me go and didn’t try to follow.
After all of that rushing, Collin never even showed up to the library. But later on that day, he had the nerve to stroll up into my dorm room, full of attitude. That fool down at the front desk was still letting any old body roll through the door. That was alright this time, though, because I had plenty of words to say to Collin.
Before I got the chance to ask him who the heck he thought he was standing me up, though, he slammed the door closed and pushed me down on the bed. Then he got on top of me and pinned my wrists down on either side of my head. This, I totally wasn’t expecting, so I shut my mouth and let him talk first.
“Why was your boy muggin’ me today?” he demanded, squeezing my wrists tighter.
I looked up at him innocently and shook my head. “I don’t know.”
“Yes the hell you do!” he shouted. “Yes you do!” He grabbed my arm and dragged me down onto the floor. It seemed like Collin got stronger every day. When I tried to push him back, he took my finger and bent it all the way back. Just before it popped out of joint, he stopped. “What did you tell him?”
I gasped in pain. “Nothing.”
“Bullshit. You had to tell him something for him to look at me like that. That mf* think he can run up on me? That what he’s thinkin’? You tell that bitch I got somethin’ for his ass if he comes my way.”
I shook my head, knowing full well the first thing Collin bought when he moved off campus was a chrome-plated nine millimeter Smith and Wesson.
“Oh, so now you wanna worry ‘bout that fool?” he dragged me over to the door and pushed me up against it. “You tell…” when I tried to pull away, he pushed me again and put his hand around my neck, “you tell that n*, to mind his f* business. You understand me?”
I nodded because I knew Collin meant what he said. He had been buck wild his whole life, and now that he had a gun, I was afraid of him, too.
“Collin,” I gasped, trying to talk over my pounding heart. “That’s just the way Kenney looks at people. He looks at everybody like that. I promise, he doesn’t know anything. I promise. Please don’t. Please…”
“What?” he glared dangerously at me. “You in love or somethin’?”
“No!” I shook my head frantically. “I love you, Collin.”
“What?”
“I said…I said I love you. Only you.” I looked up at him, and saw the anger melt easily away from his face. “I’m sorry, Collin.”
He let me go.
“I’m so sorry,” I repeated and wrapped my arms around him.
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